Getting it over the finish line…



Tamiya 1/35 Tiger 1 Early Version


The hardest part of modelling for me is getting the project across that finish line, when I find myself in the zone, which does not happen as often as I would like, I select the project which is usually inspired by a model I see in a magazine or online, do a bit of research source the kit or reach for one from the stash and start the building process, this of course has to fit into my stringent set of parameters, is it Tamiya, can it be built in a couple of weeks because if it doesn’t I am likely to lose interest, can it be painted in a single colour, if the answer to all of them are a resounding yes then on we go. Once the build starts I make my way through the instructions usually ignoring the parts that I don’t fancy plus the wheels and tracks which I tend to revisit bit by bit whilst doing the bits that I do like, it is something that works for me and helps me get those repetitive jobs done bit by bit and helps to hold my interest. There are occasions when I am building a tank when I will digress if I have trouble with the barrel or tracks or need some etched brass especially on an older kit and I will spend hours tracking replacements down on the internet when I should have really done this at the planning stage (not that I have much of a planning stage to be honest) and not when I am part of the way through, sadly I never seem to ever learn my lesson as it is a habit that I have repeated over and over again for as long as I can remember.



Tamiya 1/48 Komatsu Bulldozer


Once the build is completed as far as the construction phase is concerned this is where it goes a bit awry and where the wheels can begin to fall of my project, not literally of course however they may as well as this is the hurdle where most of my projects fail, the painting stage. I have read many articles and internet posts by some of the worlds top modellers who say that the building of the kit is the bit they least enjoy and that the painting is where they get the most enjoyment, for me it is the other way round I dread the painting I don’t quite understand it to be honest, it is possibly because this is where it can go spectacularly wrong and all that time building the kit can be messed up in a couple of minutes and I do have previous. I remember building Tamiya’s older Jagdtiger kit in about 1993 and in the painting guide it said that it could be painted in a lovely dark panzer grey with what I can only describe as lime green blobs, so after having an uneventful and enjoyable build, I even cut down the side skirts to replicate damage which showed how I was developing as a modeller, plus I used some etch brass for the first time in the shape of some mesh for the engine vents on the rear deck. Feeling very happy and accomplished with the build I reached for the airbrush, a tin of Humbrol 112 tarmac (think I read about it being a good likeness for Panzer grey in a magazine) thinned it and sprayed away, can you imagine my horror as all the paint just ran off the side of the tank like I was just giving it a random wash over of water, I was gutted and the tank was put to one side in a box, all my hard work down the drain in just a few moments of madness, that may of been the last time I airbrushed with enamels, and was probably the catalyst to my dislike of painting.



Tamiya 1/35 M13/40


If my project is going to progress any further than just the building process this is the moment, the moment I start contemplating painting the damn thing. I do not know about anyone else I give my build a wash in the sink before I think about painting in some diluted screen wash, I don’t know if this does any good or not but I do it anyway, once it has been washed I pop it in my airing cupboard, (top shelf so it does not suffer from any damage due to a towel being dragged from underneath it) for a day or so until I can be sure it is dry then it is off to the shed for some primer, a bit like the bath it receives I am not sure why I do this but it is something that I have been doing as far back as I can remember. This is another instant where my project can stall, many projects are sitting in little plastic boxes primed in a lovely grey colour just waiting for me to take interest again and move it forward, I think that many of my projects stall here because at this point the airbrush needs to come out, yes I could paint them by hand and I know quite a few modellers still use this mode of painting however I am a bit of a perfectionist and I like the finish you get from using an airbrush so that is always my preferred choice and has been since I got my first ‘spray gun’ back in 1993. I have had quite a few airbrushes down the years, a badger 250-2 basic spray gun, a badger 200 which was my first proper airbrush, I then moved on to an Aztec A4709 which I just could not get on with at all, then it was Iwata time, the only time I have ever felt comfortable with using an airbrush, this of course has not been without it’s triumphs and disasters, I have ruined more paint jobs than I care to think about, badly mixed paint, too mush pressure, lack of concentration, interruptions, and most recently using the airbrush without the lid on the colour cup which enabled me to splash paint all over the place including onto the model I was painting, I have bent needles, split air hoses and sheered off the smallest of parts whilst cleaning the smallest of nozzles, airbrushes and me have a love hate relationship.



Tamiya 1/35 Tiger 1 Mid Production (model by Anthony Finney)


Now if that is not enough to put me off painting and finishing what comes next most definitely is, once I have washed, primed, highlighted, although I am not sure why I add highlights as for most of my projects I get carried away and paint over them completely. Once the highlights are done, on goes the main base colour, normally either sand yellow dark grey brown or varying shades of green, once this is done and dry I paint all the bits that do not need to be this boring monotonous colour by hand and I have to admit it is not a part I enjoy,  using a paint brush adds more danger to my project as it is so easy to slip and mess up the base coat. If I could find a kit that needs to be the same colour all over with no wheels, tracks tow cables and tools I would be a happy man. That is if, and it is a big if the project gets this far and has not fallen at some hurdle way down the line. When and if we get this far it is time for a gloss coat, I have dabbled with several gloss coats over  the years from Johnsons Klear to Vallejo gloss varnish however when I built my Tamiya MKIV last year I used a tip from esteemed and highly respected modeller Spencer Pollard and mixed some Tamiya X22 and Mr Color levelling thinner which gave me the best finish I have ever found for decaling and weathering. Now this is definitely a hurdle I would avoid if I could, I hate decaling with a passion, I have reached this stage with many models only to come up short and drag a disaster from an odds on triumph, I admire these finished models with their perfect looking decals, luckily tanks and military vehicles have few in comparison to their flying companions, I have used all the decal setting solutions however I have yet to find one that does the decaling for you. Once the decaling is done I return to the airbrush and spray over some more of that gloss finish and the weathering can begin. Now if I have reached this stage and the project has survived the building, washing, priming, highlighting, base coating, detail painting, the glossing the decaling the glossing again the chances are that it may actual stand a good chance of being finished, now I won’t bore you all with how and with what I weather the thing with as it is always a bit hit and miss and I tend to make it up as I go along until I like what I look at and as I have only finished one kit in living memory that does not happen very often. Once I am happy with what I see I go back to the airbrush and give it a couple of coats of matt varnish, then voila it is done, I could say I then add numerous figures and put it on a base but I would be lying, it is something I really need to look at as a next step however getting projects finished is what I am working on achieving at this moment in time.



Tamiya 1/35 M113 ACAV


The process that starts the moment you snip off that first piece of plastic with the sidecutters is a lengthy one and is always fraught with danger and far too many opportunities for things to go wrong and the project go to the dogs. I can admit that my approach to modelling is in a way very haphazard, could do with a bit of organising and I give away far too many opportunities for things to go wrong. There is a very true statement that says practice makes perfect, I need to take time to practise and perhaps find a way that I feel is more me when it comes to finishing off projects as far too many stall at the many stages along the way for far too many reasons. Over the years that I have been modelling it has become far too easy for myself to become bogged down while trying to copy how other modellers approach the hobby, maybe what I need to do is find my own approach, work out my own ways of over coming the problems that I face whether that be in the building painting decaling or presenting my models, I certainly need to change something as I need to get more projects over that most vaulted of places the finish line.

The Average Modeller.

Playing it safe….

For those that are familiar with and read my blog you will know and be aware of my struggles when it comes to finding the time drive and inspiration to get myself to the workbench and do some modelling, my poor return of 1 completed kit in the last 7 or so years speaks for itself and although that is not just down to the fact that I have had several long bouts of modellers block life also gets in the way too. This last week has given me the opportunity thanks in no small part to having 2 weeks holiday to get some quality modelling time in and although it has not been at my trusty workbench I have managed to get quite a fair bit done. Whilst I was sitting waiting for the glue to dry this afternoon it occurred to me that all of my current builds (and most of the ones previously) have all had one thing in common, the paint finishes are all the same. Whether I am building and painting armour from WWI to modern day if they have anything but a one colour finish I avoid them like the plague, that is not to say that I have not attempted a camouflaged finish however I have not had much success and being my biggest critic found them to be not very good  and not very authentic. It is a similar reason I avoid both figure painting and aircraft the thought of painting faces and eyes plus the gluing of the two halves of an aircraft fuselage together fills me with dread and gets me running to the hills. I know it may all be just in my head and a matter of knowledge or lack there of also a lack of confidence, still I avoid it and it plays a big part in what I decide to purchase and build for future projects. Last summer I planned on building 3 projects for that winters trip to Telford, I chose the Tamiya MKIV male tank, the Tamiya Char B and the Dragon 15cm Sig33, both the Tamiya kits went together like a dream however the Dragon offering fought me all the way and was dropped as August became September and then October, by this time I had also dropped the Char B as painting the camo scheme was keeping me from finishing anything even though I had a set of J's work masks to help me complete it so in the end I poured all my energies into the MKIV and had it finished just in time to make the journey to Telford.

The same can be said of my choice of model kit manufacturers, for the most part I also play that safe, if I was to list here what I have in my unbuilt 'stash' it would be predominately Tamiya, I love a Tamiya kit, the instructions the parts break down and the overall ease of build makes me reach for one of their kits over everybody else's nearly every time. However sometimes they do not offer in their fantastic range a particular vehicle that I want to build so that is when I am faced with a huge dilemma, I am currently in the middle of 2 builds, the first being a lovely little T34/76 from Tamiya's 1/48 range, a no brainer really, I wanted to build something quickly and a T34 so I reached for the Tamiya one, their 1/48 scale range of vehicles are lovely easy to build and if you are quicker than me can be built and painted in a week or so, even a weekend if you have the time and a longer concentration span than me. The other was not so simple, I wanted to build a WWI British tank, last year I built Tamiya's MKIV male tank which I thoroughly enjoyed building and painting, I have Mengs MKIV male however this has a full interior and did not want such an involved build as I knew there was a good chance I would not finish it and would just get added to my 'pile of shame' so I thought maybe I should source another of Tamiya's lovely MKIV's after having looked at prices of these on eBay I decided to look elsewhere. Like how all good modelling projects start I decided to 'google' 1/35 British World War one tanks and up popped the whippet now this is done by both Meng and Takom so another google and I decided that the Meng one would be my kit of choice and low and behold one came through my door a week or so later. I have to admit I was a bit concerned that it was not a Tamiya however these fears were soon to be dismissed as the Meng Whippet is a lovely kit that goes together just fine and the only issues I have had have been with my own inability to read the instructions properly, 20 plus years as a modeller and I am still making rookie errors….

The choice of scale I choose to model in is also a safe bet, when I modelled in my early teens it was always from the Airfix and Matchbox 1/72 1/76 ranges simply because they were cheap and easy to get hold of after all you could buy them in the local sweet shop and post office, as I got into my mid teens my eldest brother in law kept saying to me you should get some 1/35 Tamiya kits and it was these I turned to when I got back into the hobby in the early 90's, plus I had an old Tamiya catalogue that had been looked at time and time again so much so in fact that I knew exactly what I wanted to buy on that very first trip to the model shop, sadly it was not to be and I had to buy what they had in stock so that wonderful 88mm I had drooled over for so long had to wait a few more years. 1/35 is definitely the scale for me it gives you a great amount of options across the board as long as what you want has wheels or tracks there is a vast array of figures and accessories plus that was the scale of those wonderful dioramas I had studied in my dog eared Tamiya catalogue. That was until I went to Scale model world in about 2009/2010 and saw on a club stand the Tamiya 1/48 KV II and got a bit hooked they are lovely kits so from time to time I will dabble into the Tamiya 1/48 range like I am currently with the T34. Moving forward and looking to the future I would love to have a go at painting some figures, it's not that I don't have any, I have them in 1/35, 1/16, 1/24, 1/48 I even have a few busts, it's just those eyes and those faces, I know, I know, practise makes perfect and all that What I need to do is step out of that comfort zone, maybe I will later on in the year when Telford is over and it's too cold to go outside and tend to the garden. As for aircraft well, I have these in 1/72 1/48 and 1/32 scale I just dread that gluing of the 2 halves together I know it is another case of stepping out of the comfort zone, sad thing is I kinds like it in that comfort zone I can sit building and painting single colour tanks in1/35 and 1/48 until the cows come home yet that leaves me a touch frustrated, does not push my skills and I will never know if I can paint a face, glue a fuselage together or paint a camo scheme if I do not come out of that comfort zone and stop playing it safe.

The Average Modeller

A few modelling thoughts……


I quite often sit (or stand for that matter) and think about this wonderful hobby of ours, the many diverse areas of modelling I see at shows and on the internet, the many fantastic works I see in books and in the magazines that I buy and the ones I peruse in my local WH Smiths. In this  modern age of social media I very often see the works in progress and the finished article of the many modellers who’s work that I admire and whom I can call ‘Facebook friends’, it is most definitely a far cry from my early days as a modeller where the only people who’s work I would see was those in magazines and my Step Dads whom I shared my modelling time with. I have to admit that I rarely show off my models and there is good reasons for that, 1,  the amount of models I actually finish is not very many (a measly one in the last several years) and 2, I kept that build reasonably quiet to surprise my club members at last years Scale model world. The competition tables that  I love to look over at the many shows I attend are always full of models of the highest calibre and although I am predominately an armour modeller you can’t beat a well constructed painted and finished model in any genre.

I have made no secret of the fact that I struggle to find the time drive and desire to make my way to the workbench and do some modelling and this last 7 months has been a particularly barren time for me and although there have been a few mitigating circumstances there are no excuses and I need to get my finger out and do some modelling. As a member of school staff  this time of year is always a good opportunity to kick back relax and get some modelling done and whilst a lot of modellers down tools  and not model during the summer I am looking forward to knuckling down and getting some serious building done and hopefully some painting too. I have earmarked a couple of projects that I would like to crack on with and hopefully finish by the time the second half of my model show season kicks off again with the Farnborough show in mid September, I really do enjoy the shows in the latter part of the year culminating with Scale model world in Telford in early November, I just need to make sure I get some projects finished ready to display.

Displaying as part of my modelling club has always been a double edge sword for me, on the one hand you do not want to let you fellow club members down and on the other you have the insecurity and self doubt as to whether or not your work is up to the standard as everybody else’s, in the cold light of day we all have our own level and standard of work and after all every expert was a beginner once. There are positives to this, I remember the first time I displayed as part of my club and when you are sitting there at the club stand and that first person takes an interest in your model, that first bend forward to take a closer look, the what kit is that?, the first photograph, it gives you an enormous feeling of pride, somebody actually likes what you have spent hours working on, fretting over, it’s a great feeling, it was the same feeling when the first person read my blog, that feeling that somebody is interested in what you do..

When I started writing this blog back in the cold days of February I was not sure where it would go or if it was something that I would stick and continue with. I have been quite surprised with how it has been received and the feedback I have received has spurred me on to keep on writing. Over the next few months I hope to expand and change my blog to include me blogging about particular projects that I am working on and I have one particular in mind which is a project that has become quite close to my heart and I am looking forward to building blogging and sharing the journey with you all. Taking the blog forward as the year goes on is something that I have been thinking about recently however it needs to go hand in hand with how I develop as a modeller, building and completing models is the name of the game and if I can throw in a couple of build blogs with maybe some reviews and maybe even a video or 2 I will feel more justified with my blogs existence, after all there are only so many posts I can write regarding my laziness as a modeller. There are quite a few modelling related blogs out there and I like to read as many as I can to help keep mine different, I am not involved in the hobby in any way other than it is my hobby and as such it is something that should not be a chore just something to help me kick back relax and unwind. I may never win a gold medal for my work or be revered in modelling circles written about in magazines or be recognised at model shows and maybe I do not need all that, for now I am happy as the average modeller.

The Average Modeller.




Modelling time, does it really exist????

2GB Card 432

As I sit here at the keyboard thinking about modelling in general and the state of my own little corner of the hobby, the fact that I have not written a blog post for what seems like an absolute age, the forthcoming summer break and whether or not I will get any modelling time in, the end of year model shows in Farnborough Folkestone and of course the biggie in Telford and how on earth I am going to find the time to build paint and finish all those kits that are sitting waiting for me to get round to doing exactly that. Time, it’s an odd perception isn’t it?, I sometimes wonder how I ever get the time to do anything other than work and the numerous household chores that demand my attention, it could be that I am just no good at time management or it may be that I am a lazy bugger and spend too much time procrastinating that by the time I decide that’s what I am going to do the opportunity is gone and it’s either back to work, time for bed or chore time.

When I look at the fantastic models that I see on Facebook web forums and in magazines it is often with a sense of wonder not just at the amazing work that has gone into these mini masterpieces or the obvious talent that these modellers have it is also the fact that these guys have the time to sit down and actually complete these lovely models. Where do they find this time, I know it’s a hobby for most of us and you find the time where you can however I just seem to fail miserably at this, I could blame it on a demanding job, a slightly complicated home life, too many half started projects,  a lack of focus the weather the price of potatoes the list could be endless however the problem lays within my own  make up, in my inability to concentrate for very long and definitely my inability to prioritise to get things over the finish line. I think the mere fact that I have finished 1 kit, yes one singular kit in 5/6 years tells it’s own story, and to be honest it is quite a sad little story, just 1 completed kit, I feel ashamed, very very ashamed. I started modelling back in the cold winter of 1992 and my finished model count is nothing close to an average of 3/4 kits a year more like one every 4/5 years a very dismal return it is true and one I am very ashamed of, my school report would say must do better, much much better in fact, I definitely have room for improvement.

Now as I sit here with 68 days to go until my next model show at Farnborough which will need me to display about half to three quarters of a table full of models and I am not quite sure how that will occur and there is nobody else to blame but myself. It is not as if this has been thrust upon me as I have known that this will be the case for quite a while. I have put off and procrastinated over it for as long as I have known and to be honest I am not getting any closer to having anything ready for it than I was 2/3 months ago when I told my good friend Andy Langridge that he was not to  was worry about having to fill 2 tables on his own as me and my partner in crime and fellow modeller Kerry Carter would be there to share his burden and help fill the tables, in Kerry’s defence she has finished several pieces of work to my none and she stands a better chance at this point of filling our side of the bargain than myself. So I have now reached a point of having just over 2 months to get my act together so that I do not end up looking like a complete failure and have something to share with the modelling world plus I cannot be letting Andy or Kerry down come September 16th.

So this phantom modelling time that everyone else seems to have in abundance and I have zero of needs to come from somewhere, but where??, that’s the burning question. Maybe it is not the fact that I am a lazy modeller or one lacking enthusiasm and drive, or that any modelling time I get somehow gets watered down by procrastination and the necessity that my workbench is neat tidy and clean nor is it the time I take to decide which of the numerous part built ‘shelf queens’ need to be finished first, nor is the need for me to spend hours trawling the internet for my next purchase. Now I am no professor who has spent years studying at school college and university, neither am I an expert in time and motion however it does not take a genius to work out where my modelling time disappears to as it is quite obvious and here in black and white for all to see, my problem now is to take all that wasted time put it all together and get my lazy arse back to the workbench and finish something off and decreasing my stash the shelf queen pile and in the process get the creative juices flowing and have some kits finished off for Farnborough. Practice makes perfect they tell us, you will never be any good if you do not apply yourself and I guess they are right and it is all so very true if I ever want to be seen as anything other than just an average modeller.

The Average Modeller


The Spares Box



I was sitting at the workbench this afternoon just looking around the room which to be honest is a favourite past time of mine, no wonder I never get anything started built painted or finished, and I was looking at the many boxes that crowd the many shelves and as I looked over into the farthest corner where I keep the numerous boxes of magazines and books that I keep just incase I ever need them, nestled amongst them are several boxes full to the brim of spares, you know those bits you get left over after a build and you safely pop them in a box just in case you ever feel like building another. Sets of Sherman wheels, tracks you have replaced with better aftermarket sets, limbs and heads from badly postured tank crews and soldiers, spare vehicle tools, spare aircraft props, undetailed cockpit seats the list goes on, why do we keep them?  what is the point of keeping a set of poorly moulded badly detailed 1970’s 1/35 Tamiya Panzer IV rubber band tracks??? I myself have no idea, it may be the million pound question however I have several sets just waiting never to be used, so why do we keep this stuff??, I have a theory we just cannot throw things away.

I remember some years back when I first  discovered the internet and especially ebay, the ‘marketplace’ where you can buy virtually anything. My Dad once said to me what is the point of going to a car boot sale, I have no need to buy other peoples rubbish, I guess he had a point and ebay can be a bit like that, especially when I noticed somebody was flogging off their spares box at a reasonable starting price. I watched the item and bid on it as it was ending which of course is the best course of action and low behold a couple of days or maybe weeks later several boxes of what I can only describe as stuff you would not really want to keep came through the door. I cannot criticize the seller of this spares box as it was quite obviously chock full of stuff he or she did not have the heart to throw away, I can’t lie there was some useful stuff contained within those boxes a lot of which I have passed on to other modellers, you know those posts you see on forums and more recently Facebook where someone has lost or mislaid something vital like a Panther A road wheel some plastic Italeri zimmerit a 72nd scale Harrier cockpit and pilot or a set of Tamiya Panzer IV rubber tracks – I knew keeping them was a good idea and somebody would one day require a set. Anyway none of this spares box I purchased have been used by myself other than some ammo boxes and a Tamiya Brummbar that I practised zimmerit on, and quite badly at that.

Maybe it is a bit of an obsession this keeping of parts we may probably ever need let alone use and in this day and age with the plethora of items made of etch and resin available to buy and use maybe the spares box is just becoming a thing of the past, a burden on the valuable available space in the workroom. I did something a few years ago that I could blame on OCD if I had it, I bought some storage boxes for my spares box so that each kit that I had spares left over from could have their own little compartment, a little square home of their own. I spent hours days and maybe even weeks sorting through the many boxes of unused items that I had accumulated plus of course the many items that I had bought from ebay a few years earlier. Now I will not lie to you all it was most definitely a labour of love and quite therapeutic spending hours sorting through the many minute pieces of plastic trying to remember which kit that each and every piece had come from however I felt quite accomplished once it was done. Now those boxes are very rarely opened, I have from time to time needed to look for a spare Tamiya Polly cap but apart from that the boxes stay unopened over in the farthest corner of the workroom in amongst the boxes of books and magazines that I keep just incase I ever need them.

I think that there is a moral to this story and to me as a modeller on the whole, my modelling time is short and maybe if I had not spent much of that time sorting cleaning arranging and tidying my blog may have been called something else, the accomplished modeller maybe……..

The average modeller.





Is it all really worth it in the end?, the trials, the tribulations, the feelings, the wasted opportunities……




I have to tell you my blog has kept me sane the last few months whilst I battled with my ever occurring inability to motivate myself and get back to modelling again. I do not know why or where this inability to motivate myself has come from, maybe it’s drawn out of the enormous self doubt in my abilities and my own numerous insecurities about my hobby that I have, it could be that I am just too bloody lazy and just need a good kick up the backside I just do not know. Over the last few weeks I have slowly returned to the numerous jobs at hand and have started to get my modelling house in order and have started modelling again. This has not come without a negative, my ability to write a blog post has flown right out of the window. I took last week off due to visiting the wonderful Milton Keynes model show, a show that has in the past kick started my modelling output for the year which culminated last year in me finally finishing my first project for a fair few years (about 7 I think). Now I am back modelling and focussing on getting a few things over the line my words have dried up… I do not know why and I do not quite understand it in equal measure. Its not that I do not have a long list of subjects that I want to write about because I do. I have started about 4 posts today alone that I have cut short due to me not being happy with the content and what I have written, maybe I am being too hard on myself maybe they are ok, I will revisit each one in the near future perhaps and maybe they will see the light of day, only time will tell. Maybe they are like a modelling project, you know the ones you start that you either lose impetus on or just lose interest and they sit in the far corner of the work room waiting for the moment you blow off the dust open the box and get it finished.

Getting back to the workbench actually the dining room table this last week has been good for me, it has got me thinking towards the model shows towards the latter part of the year that I will attend as part of my club and my need to get some projects finished to display so that I have something other than this blog to show for my years work. When I attend shows with my club and I look at the other members work I feel a pang of guilt and regret that yet another year has passed and still I have nothing to show for it. I often feel as each year passes me by that modelling opportunities are passing with it, it is no secret the amount of half built and complete kits taking up space in my workroom possibly more than I could ever complete in what is left of my life. I would love to be able to sit here and promise to you all that I will make it my life’s ambition to finish every model that I have in my possession however it is not a promise I could keep. There have been times that I have thought about giving up the hobby, sell it all off and take up something else yet there is always something that has stopped me, perhaps it is the buzz of purchasing yet another kit, the feeling as you research another project that has yet to be realised if ever at all, is it that feeling of belonging you feel the moment you walk through the doors of a model show, it is that feeling of being recognised by your fellow modellers, and maybe it is the need once you clear away all the self doubt and insecurities to be seen as something more than an average modeller, whatever it is it keeps me coming back for more.

The Average Modeller



Drive or lack there of…..



I was sitting at the kitchen table over the weekend with the cutting mat in front of me, a selection of glues set at the top, an array of tools off to the right along with the table lamp and an open box of plastic in front of me struggling to remember where I was the last time I opened up this box and glued some of the contents together and it made me wonder about what inspires or drives me to get a project started and see it all the way through to the end. Now I am not going to dazzle you with words of wisdom about how I can pick up a set of hand drawn plans a scalpel calculator and a stack of plasticard and built an award winning model, and please do not get me wrong I am not some celebrated award winning modeller either, I am and dare I say it just an average modeller trying to improve with every project that I complete which to be honest is not very often. As I have mentioned in older blog posts I struggle with finding the time and motivation to start a project and see it through to the end with last year being the exception thanks to my other half Kerry and Keith from my model club the Bulldogs for inspiring me and driving me along to the bitter end and even though it may not have been finished until the night before we left for scale model world last November, it got finished, and I will be honest it is a piece of work I am very proud of and is head and shoulders above anything else I have ever done. Now after feeling the high of completing my first kit in about 7 years you would think that I would be champing at the bit to get back to the bench once more, sadly this was not the case as I felt a bit of a burn out once we returned from Telford and sadly this burn out seems to have hung around for a bit too long. Normally this kind of lack of motivation I am feeling usually ends with a trip to a model show or the purchase of a new kit a book or a magazine full of inspirational models however none of these have worked this time and I am finding myself in a bleak model less wasteland.

When we returned from Telford with a car boot full of kits and bits that we had purchased plus the review kit that I discussed in my first blog post I thought excellent, give it a day or so to catch up on some sleep and I’ll be straight to the bench, knock that review sample out and it will be straight on with some nice builds over the Christmas break but NO… the modelling mojo had gone, hiding perhaps amongst the many boxes of unbuilt and half built kits that live in my workroom. I struggled through the review kit, and although it was not the easiest build it went together quite well and to be honest I was glad to see it off the workbench, I wrote the review and my very first blog post all in that same weekend and voila my very first pieces of work  were unleashed to the public and with it I hoped my need to get back to the bench, sadly not. It has become quite a curious thing, I purchased some new kits, a few books, a new airbrush, wrote some blog posts yet the mojo was still missing, what else do I need to do. I went and sat at the workbench, that did not work, I looked around the internet at various forums and on the various Facebook groups I am part of hoping that seeing some inspirational work would do the trick, and yet again I came up empty. In all of the 20 odd years of modelling had my want and need to model been so low. I spent some time tidying my workroom and especially around the workbench hoping a tidy work area would spur me on and still I was coming up short. Nothing I seemed to do was helping, a couple of the kits I purchased were aircraft hoping that building something different would spur me into action, that did not work either. The thought of sitting down opening a kit box and building a model was actually filling me with dread and I found myself questioning whether or not I wanted to carry on modelling, the lowest point of my time as a modeller. I had gone from building and completing my first model in 7 years, building and writing my first published article and the beginning of my blog to feeling nothing, it was a very strange situation.

As I broke for a week or so’s holiday the Friday before last I  set aside some time to write my latest blog post and hopefully get to the workbench and do some modelling maybe some pressure free modelling would help kick me out of this hole. My blog post titled shelf queens or the pile of shame and embarrassment threw up some curious responses which among them was a comment from Peter of MAN models regarding the Tamiya M8 greyhound that I have in my pile of shame and had made an appearance in my last blog posts picture. Peter is currently building a section of Mulberry Harbour for the aforementioned SIG display at SMW 2017 and said that it would look good for the display, so in a moment of unbridled enthusiasm I said I would finish it for the display. Now promising something and actually delivering are two different things however with quite a few months to go I am hoping that the mojo returns in earnest and it will be retrieved from the pile of shame and be finished in time. Now this is where it got a bit bizarre, having cleaned my house from top to bottom I decided to take myself off to the workroom and do some modelling, having sat down and looked around looking for some inspiration and with nothing going and feeling a touch of despair creeping in I decided to look through the boxes that make up the pile of shame, going from box to box trying to remember what point I was at with each model and as each box was dusted off looked in and put back the feelings of not wanting to model ever again got stronger, that was until I reached the box that holds my part built Tamiya 1/35 Willys Jeep, now this is a kit I started back after SMW 2013 and had remained part built ever since, as I looked through the box contents and slowly put them onto the cutting mat a slight wave of enthusiasm coursed through me and I could feel the 5 month modelling hiatus slowly coming to an end. It may not have happened with a flash of light and angels singing none the less it was at an end, all those months of struggle and doubt came to an abrupt end with a clip of the zuron sidecutters. Now it has been nearly a week since that eureka moment and since then I have finished building the jeep and have moved onto that M8 Greyhound that I have promised to the Mulberry Harbour sig display which in turn has reminded me why that particular kit got put to one side in the first place ….. the turret gun ring ggggrrrrrr…. Now with a bit of luck the modelling mojo has returned and although I am not burning with enthusiasm to get back to the bench I am quite looking forward to trying out the new airbrush and paint the jeep and tick off the first completed model of 2017, hopefully it will be an improvement on my last build and maybe even a slow progress away from being just an average modeller.

The average modeller.