As I sit here in mid September with the sun shining through my window casting an eye towards Scale Model World in November and just feeling that life just seems to have a common theme. I view the modelling year November to November or from Scale Model World to Scale Model World and it starts on our tired return and ends in that mad rush just prior to packing the car up and flying up the motorway. Now every year once we have returned from Telford I make that empty promise to myself that the grass will not grow under my feet and that this year will be the year when I spend more time at the bench and by the time the summer ends and I am thinking about what to take with me to Telford I will have a plethora of choices. The reality unfortunately is that here I am in mid September wondering what I can get finished in time to take with me and stressing that I possibly won’t get anything done and I will feel a complete let down.
The big question for me is why do I end up making these same mistakes year in year out, yes life tends to get in the way, work takes up a lot of energy and after being at work all day the last thing on you mind is spending more time away from the family shut away at the workbench, tired with the old nerves a bit frazzled after a day dealing with people you possibly don’t want to have to deal with so that the risk of messing up your latest masterpiece is a strong possibility. So that leaves just the weekends and holidays, in that time away from work you also need to fit in family time, DIY, the garden and numerous other tasks that take up valuable time, other hobbies perhaps which I am sure most of us have. The repeating of the same old cycle for me tends to minimalize my creativity which to be honest I do not have in abundance it also restricts how I am learning as in the mad cram to get something, anything finished for the display table at Scale Model World I am just using the bare minimum of skills and it is all a big hope that it all comes together without any mishaps or complete disasters.
With all this in mind and as the days tick by the spectre of Telford looms large my thoughts and my eyes turn to what on earth have I got that I can turn my hand to and needs the smallest amount of attention to get finished off and be ready in 5 or 6 weeks time. This is where I get annoyed and upset with myself, nothing has changed in the last year, I have built some finished nothing, the airbrush has not seen an outing for 11/12 months paints and weathering liquids have dried up and I will be scratching around stressing myself, pulling my hair out wondering why on earth I hadn’t sorted myself out earlier in the year. A few years back I built the Meng Whippet and spent so much time weathering it using different mediums, washes, oils, pigments to a point where I was really satisfied with the end result and I probably viewed it as my best work to date, something to build on and what did I do?, I returned from showing it at Telford, it was popped into the display case and and and, nothing yep nothing. All was not lost as I did similar the following year, I worked at different techniques over an array of models and I felt like although my output prior to the build up to Telford was zero, I really felt like that progress was being made, I was learning more as I built, painted and weathered and I was positive on our return from scale model world however it was a false dawn as once I returned, I failed to back up my previous good work and of course we went into lockdown within 5/6 months and it was a time of much building painting however no finishing, for me that is the key, NO finishing.
That I am afraid is my modelling in a nutshell, the promise of much and a sporadic delivery. I can build when the mood takes me until the cows come home, and it is something I rather enjoy it is the next step is where the lessons are never learned. I tend to fall into the same traps every year, I spend that last 8 or so weeks from September to November cramming as much painting and finishing into that short space of time that by the time the euphoria of scale model world has subsided I can’t bear the thought of spending time in the workroom and just distance myself from it as much as I can. This is where my approach is all wrong, the cramming, the stress and the feeling that I am just not enjoying something that is a hobby and is there to be enjoyed. Sometimes you just need to get off the merry go round, if you are not enjoying it then what is the point. Now there is nothing I can do about this year, I either see it through or I do nothing, finish nothing and take nothing with me to Telford to display which is not what I want to do. What I need to do when I return from the modelling fest is what is important now, it needs a change of approach, yes I will feel burnt out, yes I will feel like shutting the workroom door and not look in it for months, and yes I will need to ignore all those feelings and get back in the saddle because if I don’t then then the same old cycle that I constantly repeated will just go on and on. Until the next time.
The Average Modeller September 2024
The Average Modeller 